*This chapter took me a little while longer to write than I thought. Let me know what you think*
Song: Just The Way You Are, Bruno Mars
My eyes shot wide open, as I gasp for my breath.
What a nightmare!
Wincing not only at what I hope is just a nightmare, but also about the rising sun peeking in between the slats of the blinds, that I forgot to close. But from all that I can recall of what happened last night, I shouldn’t be so paranoid. It was all just a nightmare ... right? It was just so vivid, it felt so realistic, and my heart is still beating so fast, like it's about to burst out of my chest.
Well... I guess I have no need for the alarm this morning, because I'm not ready to take my chances of dying from cardiac arrest. Then again, if her and I keep it up like this, she'll surely be the death of me. --At least I'd die a happy man.--
So, I reach over, turn it off and try to catch my breath, but as I’m doing so, the fear is beginning to slowly creep back up over me again. After a couple more minutes of attempting to calm down, I finally gathered up enough courage to turn onto my back and look over beside me. I didn't know what I thought I was about to expect, but there she was. The most beautiful sight in all of Pittsburgh. I can't even imagine a better looking sight to wake up to.
Even that in itself is beautiful.
We may have been only seeing each other for the past few weeks but every moment I'm with her, every thing in the world feels right. If this is what they call love, then call me addicted. It’s like something I've never felt before, and yet it's also one that has never hit me so hard, but I’ve got to say, I’m loving it. She’s always leaving me wanting her… craving her a little bit more after each time we part.
Now that I'm completely engrossed in staring at her, I really see how stunning she is. Not that I never noticed before, but seeing her in this light as she lies there with nothing on. No make-up, no clothes, just her in her own skin, underneath my sheets and in my bed. What more could a man ask for? Besides, I'm quite enjoying just staring lovingly at the way her head is nestled in the pillow and the way her skin glows in the morning light. If I could, I would stay in this bed and gaze at her for as long as she slept.
As a few more minutes pass though, I somehow get taken aback and fronted with a part of these mornings I hate most... --the pulling myself away from the bed where this gorgeous woman sleeps part.-- This may be the hardest thing I have to do, but I somehow manage with every fibre of my being, to pull myself away. I have to start getting ready for morning skate, but what kind of guy in his right mind would leave this beautiful creature in their bed? That would be just plain crazy!
After letting out a quiet and content sigh, I slowly roll myself over, and slide my legs off the side of the bed, so I’m sitting on the edge. Hesitant to move any further, I look over to the clock on the bedside table, only to take another quiet, but heavier sigh as reality sets in and my hopes get crushed.
I really should get my butt moving, if I want to get there on time and so with one last glance over my shoulder, and a newly plastered smile on my face. I'm about to get up off the bed, but as I do so, I feel her hand grab at the waistband of my boxers.
"Hey... I thought you were sleeping?" I whispered, as I turned myself back around, so I could crawl across the bed, and put one hand on either side of her.
"Hmmm…” she moans as she turns herself over onto her back, “you think that I don't know..." she mumbles softly.
"I think that you don't know what?" I ask, as I inch my face closer to hers.
"That I know you stare at me while I sleep?" she whispers in to my ear.
"Uuh... n-no..." I begin to stutter, as she's looking me up and down, gently biting her bottom lip. "what are you talking about?" I continue, trying to play innocent.
"You are such... a bad liar.”
“Awe... baby, I know.” I mumble into her lips as I bent down over her to give her a kiss.
She makes it so hard for me to leave. Her scent intoxicates me, her soft skin under my fingertips lures me and her kiss with those soft lips, don't even get me started. Then there are those dark brown eyes... the list is just endless.
As much as I don't want to do this, I begin to slowly pull myself away from her lips, and in that split second my lips left hers, she grabs the back of my neck and pulls me back in. It never fails to amaze me how strong her control is over me. I know I'm going to hate myself for what I‘m about to do... again, and all I can say is that I’m incredibly stupid for doing this.
Just before I completely pulled myself away from her, I kissed the tip of her nose, and that’s where I know I killed it. “I’m sorry baby”, was all I could say, as I backed off her, edging back to the end of the bed. There I saw it, the disappointment that I put in her eyes. I know she understands, but it still kills me. I feel I have no choice, so I continue to make my way off the bed to the dresser. As soon as my back is turned to her she calls my name.
I turn back to see her sitting up against the headboard with the sheet up to cover her chest.
"Baby, can you throw me a shirt, please” she continues as she lets the sheet drop.
Realizing the obvious, I decided to just act on it. I threw the t-shirt I had in hand, to the floor, and swiftly made my way towards her. I ripped away the rest of the covers, picked her up and took her to the shower with me.
I am so going to be late.